Turning 40

About a week ago I realized I was doing a little too good a job on keeping my upcoming 40th birthday low profile. I feared my husband was going to completely forget about it and I would be experiencing the anti-celebration. I organized a sitter for tonight, ordered a cake, and tried to gently explain the difference between not having a gigantic surprise party and totally ignoring my birthday. I requested he prepare for the evening meal, and that he think of some nice things to say about me that will help soften the blow of a mid life birthday and a feeling of being totally average.

All year my friends would ask about plans for the big four-O and I would insist that I was not going to have a big celebration. I insisted that a trip somewhere tropical would be perfect. Something with my family but absolutely no party. I did not want to require friends to attend an obligatory out-of-town function. I did not want to have to sit in a restaurant and blow out birthday candles. I would almost have liked to ignore it all together– almost. Last week I realized that since my husband does not speak woman, he might really believe that he didn’t have anything to do. I guess I also just expected him to have a plan for the day. I said I did not want a big deal made, but unfortunately, until last week I did not spell out that I would like to have a day off. I would like to have someone else make dinner. I would like to have someone else worry about the:

  • laundry
  • grocery shopping
  • dry-cleaning
  • post office
  • kids tantrums
  • packing lunches
  • getting-up-for-school complaining
  • the get-home-from-school snack
  • afternoon chores enforcement
  • the answers for what should I do for entertainment
  • the dreaded bedtime routine

I would like:

  • a nap
  • time to take a walk on the beach (since we live 10 minutes away)
  • a pedicure (it might be described as a partial amputation since I have such horrible calluses from long term neglect)
  • blog time (my wish came true)
  • peace to contemplate mid-life (or maybe that’s exactly what I’ve been avoiding?)
  • a massage maybe?

As I am writing this I realize that its called a girls weekend, or perhaps more accurately a daddy-kid bonding day. I realize that just because I am turning 40 on just another Monday, that my children are not suddenly going to stop being hungry, that my husband is not going to suddenly become sensitive and perceptive and that I am not going to immediately embrace aging. My plan for the evening:

  • ¬†order take out
  • get a massage
  • eat the delicious chocolate cake that my friend who has an amazing reputation for cooking made just for me:)
  • and make a list of all the great things in my life- especially great friends who remembered and did not make me endure the pressure of a big party

I know that I will fall asleep happy and thankful to celebrate another year of life!

Can’t wait for the song and the first bite!




One thought on “Turning 40

  1. Live your bday post! I have to remind myself that Mike is a great guy, but not a mind reader and that it is okay to tell him what I want/need (and he is relieved when I do). I’m glad you had a great 40th…and I am so with you on not having the big surprise party..if much rather have something quaint. Miss you!

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